Rick and Lisa Smith

For anyone who may read this, please know that it is not an attempt to thump my chest.  It is more of a coming clean.  It is one of my biggest struggles in my life now and has been there for over 26 years.  Ready?

Balance.  That’s all.  Balance.  Knowing when to shut down.  Knowing when to say no.  Knowing that I could be a poster child of what not to do. 

I can trace this trait back to the time I began working in corporate America for IBM.  Fresh out of school.  Ready to tackle the world.  Single.  And I move 2000 miles away from my family to begin my adult life.  I didn’t know anyone in Tucson when I decided to take the job so there was nothing else to do except work.  It was not uncommon to work every single day for a period of time and have my boss tell me that I have to take at least a day off.  I got in a groove – a pattern and didn’t even realize that I had worked over 2 months without so much as a day off.  No Sabbath.

I wish that I could tell you that the pattern of balance has improved since I came on staff at a church.  It’s been very easy for me to say that my normal office hours are on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday leaving Tuesday to try and recharge and get some much needed things done around the house.  But here I sit on Tuesday January 29th and I have already logged on to check and answer email and I am still monitoring it since I am expecting an answer to an email I sent yesterday.  I have already logged on to our accounts payable website and paid a couple of church bills that are due later this week.  And it’s 7:45am.  And I did tell you it is my day off?  I won’t tell you how long it has been since I stayed home and not worked.

It is not helpful to God, my family or anyone else for me to spin out of control with this balance issue.  I need to obey and surrender.  I need to be intentional about creating this space where I rest in Him.  In order for me to give God and my family all of me, I need to pull back the reigns.  I know that this is not a one day thing, it’s a total lifestyle makeover.

Sounds simple.  Now I just have to live it.